I wanted to share an e-mail I was given by my good friend Megan. She sent it to me last year after one of my bawl sessions t o her. It's really hard to express the way I feel about having a son with autism but this little story sums it up perfect.
WELCOME TO HOLLAND
byEmily Perl Kingsley.
c1987 by Emily Perl Kingsley. All rights reserved
I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......
When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.
After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."
"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."
But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.
The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.
So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.
It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.
But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."
And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.
But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.
The Abney Family. 
Holding Hands!!!
! 
Who doesn't love Shep. He had a blast playing with all the kids too.
Todd and I with our fanny packs! Yup, that is right mine is bright green straight from the early 90's!
Todd loving it!
Loving being in the back of Uncle Talans truck.
John looking HOMELESS! He pretty much was for the 3 days. He was in heaven with so many kids to play with.
JoJo loving swinging that Dino. 
It was massive!
And it's over! 
Crab Man & Joy!
I loved shopping for Joy, it was so fun!
My tummy said "Karma Sucks".
The happy couple!
John & Me
So he hated the black on his face so he smeared it everywhere. So he was a football player after the game!
Nat the Swedish Milk Maid!
JoJo after the game!
Love him!
